Learning To Enjoy The Journey

Posted on December 21, 2014

enjoy the journey

The year end is always populated with ‘the best of’ -lists, but sometimes it’s a feeling of disappointment rather than triumph how the year has gone. Do you think nothing turned out as you had envisioned this year? Did you you have a long New Year’s resolutions list and only managed to accomplish the easiest tasks?

Not achieving our internal or external goals feels disappointing, but most of us are guilty of two things. Firstly, we keep rushing towards an elusive goal, expecting that once we get there we will finally be happy – and if we don’t reach our goal we are complete failures. I’m the first one to put my hand up, I know how easy it is to get pressurised by my own goals. For me the secret is not to meet some internal or external targets but to create positive daily habits that help me to raise my game, and, to enjoy the journey!

The second pitfall is not to recognise that life is actually, mostly, pretty great! It’s so easy to get hang up on the things that are not perfect, not completed and not completely as we’d like them to be. This post by Leo Babauta’s is to the point, “If you had to make a list of all the habits you’d like to change or create, how many changes would be on the list?”

Why is it so much easier to be unhappy than appreciate what we have achieved and what we can enjoy right now?

At DrivenWoman meetings we’ve discussed what we are most proud of, or most grateful of this year.

This is a simple exercise that helps you to appreciate the small wins, personal triumphs and the good things you have in life. The feeling of not achieving suddenly makes room for gratefulness and satisfaction.

a) Write down three things you are most proud of, your greatest personal successes from this year. Something YOU are proud of.

b) Write down three things you are most grateful off this year.

I love what one of our members said after writing down her thoughts. “I think this year has been one of the worst years for me, ever. At least it feels like it. When I started this exercise I thought I can’t possibly find three good things about 2014. But guess what, it’s amazing. When I look at what I wrote down, my reasons to be grateful – my life is actually pretty good!”

Being grateful has positive health benefits, and I strongly believe it helps you to relax and enjoy the journey.

And that’s what life is all about. It’s not about the end goal, it’s about enjoying life every day and doing your best.

I wish you peaceful and grateful Christmas. Let’s enjoy it!

~ Miisa

 

Sharing Experiences Leads To Increased Confidence

Posted on December 14, 2014

women confidenceThe year is soon coming to an end. We’ve now run over 50 members’ groups, introductions and workshops and met lots of wonderful, driven women. Getting people together to share their ambitions and experiences is so rewarding, not least because we can see real change and real progress. That’s why we originally set up this network. To become a real movement for proactivity for women.

This week I want to share a member story. It’s these stories of personal discovery, growing confidence and making things happen that gives us so much satisfaction. I hope this story from Jacqueline will inspire you to share experiences to gain more confidence and make things happen.

“I was one of the founding members of DrivenWoman and I instantly loved having somewhere I could go to bounce ideas off the other members, sharing my ups and downs and uncertainties. I’ve been self-employed for years and while I love my work as a sports and exercise massage therapist, it can be very lonely.

DrivenWoman meetings give you the chance to dream a bit, to think bigger, and then to just get on with it. I used to be an Olympic Athlete and it’s taken me a long time to work out what I wanted, but the shared experience of DrivenWoman has given me that confidence to move forward and allowed me to be better at what I do.

Having others to share your thoughts with gives you the belief that what you’re doing is right, and helps you trust your instincts.

I now have my own sports rehab clinic and have the confidence to take on the right work, to say no occasionally, rather than just taking on everything and working myself into the ground. I’m doing things more efficiently, rather than just doing it.

As a group we’ve all come so far together, and I feel the experience has helped me come out of my little box, open up and be more confident, get active on social media, embracing who I am and going with it.” Jacqualine Agyapong

Do you have a group of good people around you can share your thoughts with? Please share your experience in the comments.

Have a great week.

~ Miisa

 

Holiday Reading

Posted on December 7, 2014

holiday reading

Christmas is great time to read and to invest in updating one’s thoughts. No matter how busy I am, I always try to keep reading a book. Even if it’s just 15 minutes before going to bed it all adds up. This week I wanted to share a book review by one of our members. A great book to read over the Christmas holidays!

……….

Once in a while a book comes along which has the power to transform our lives for the better. ‘Daring Greatly’ by Brene Brown is one of those books. It is uplifting and insightful, and based on years of rigorous research involving hundreds of interviews.

I discovered Brene Brown through her TED talks - www.ted.com - and was struck by her authenticity and openness. Her message is practical and simple – we squander our lives if we wait to be perfect or bullet proof. The only way to really live is to believe that we are enough, practice gratitude, deal with shame and face uncertainty, exposure and emotional risks. In essence, we transform our lives by having the courage to be vulnerable. This is not weakness, it is the willingness to show up and show who we really are, to truly connect with others, to live with the discomfort of being a leader or parent. It means practising our values and pushing back against a culture of scarcity, blame and comparison with others.

Here are three steps you can take right now: practice courage and reaching out; talk to yourself the way you would talk to someone you really love; and own your story – that way you get to write the ending.

Book was reviewed by Jenny Oklikah.

Daring Greatly

 

And don’t forget, we are running a DrivenWoman one day workshop – The Daring Way – on 26th of January 2015. Book now and ensure you get one of the limited number of Early Bird tickets!

I’m Dreaming Of Wealthy Women

Posted on November 30, 2014

Last summer I got tired of pay day loan companies’ advertising. The dream life they offered would be financed by loans. I couldn’t disagree more. Living a life of luxury on borrowed money is only a big lie and will result in a nightmare. Dream life can only be based on reality. It’s based on passion, professionalism and taking responsibility of our own financial future.

And when something bothers me, if I see a ‘fault’ in the universe, I want to do something about it. So I decided to start a web based community for Wealthy Women. ‘Wealthy’ is not an exact figure, it’s about an idea that everyone can improve their financial situation.

Our financial future is influenced only by our choices that will lead to a different, more attractive financial situation.

There is so much mystery surrounding money and wealth but it really is no magic. Your own attitude determines 80% of your financial outcome. Think about it, if you really want to get something you will find a way to achieve it, right? But if you believe you will always be poor and not entitled to any riches the mindset is difficult to change.

This new community will support its members to make their financial future brighter. Women who join the community will get instructions to draw up their own financial statement and choose their financial target. This is an exercise I warmly recommend to everybody, and you should keep updating it regularly! They will also receive a wealth coaching pack with ideas and tools for better money management and wealth growth. It’s important to keep working on your wealth every month to reach your goals.

Women tend be somewhat ashamed to take a grip of their own finances.

It’s as if we are our own worst enemies. Women tend to ask for less in salary negotiations, they end up earning less than men, and there are fewer female entrepreneurs. Women’s pension contributions are smaller than men’s. But we could do so much more for ourselves to make our situation better!

It’s up to us that we take the steps though. Reaching any goal is easier as a member of a community because you get support, you can exchange opinions and experiences with other women. Same goes for reaching our financial goals as you get new ideas and point of views about money and wealth. But it means we have to make an effort, and to be willing to share. Sometimes it’s hard to change anything alone. When you surround yourself with like-minded people who are also eager to reach their goals you are more likely to succeed.

I believe we women can achieve great things, and together we are stronger. My dream is to build a community of 10,000 wealthy women. I wanted to share this big dream with you, perhaps it will help you dream bigger.

Have a wonderful, wealth conscious week.

~ Terhi

This is a guest post from Terhi Majasalmi, a DrivenWoman trusted women’s wealth coach. She will be running the second DrivenWoman ‘Wealthy Woman Workshop’ in London on the 19th of March 2015. Meanwhile, you can find out about her Wealthy Woman community here. (Now in Finnish only.)

Terhi Majasalmi is a wealth coach who dreams about 10,000 wealthy women

Terhi Majasalmi is a wealth coach who dreams about 10,000 wealthy women.

 

Do You Trust The Timing Of Your Life

Posted on November 23, 2014

circle of life

Do you trust the timing of your life? It’s the Cliche that “everything happens for a reason”, right. Is that the truth or just another explanation for us to making sense of life?

I can honestly say at this stage of my life I finally trust the timing of my life. I’ve probably had traits of this trust since an early age. I can recall always being into self-help books and a great fan of Oprah Winfrey and Maya Angelo. But now with all my life experiences, both good and bad, and I have a better understanding of myself and what life has to give and with this I feel at ease with my choices and excited about what I can achieve.

Now, trusting life doesn’t mean I am going to wait around for someone to give me a bag of gold and a big pat on the back and say “here you are and away you go”. Although at times it would be tempting to dream, and I will not dismiss it from the universe… Oh, yes please dear universe, you can bring me a bag of gold anytime you want :). Trusting your life is about becoming one with yourself and with the World and your inner thoughts. It sounds submissive but it is not.

Who wants to go through life hating everything and having a wrestling match with every problem that arises?

That would create so much negativity in your life you would become worn out and completely miserable. Trusting the timing in life is about a belief, planning and not to being afraid of becoming creative when required, and knowing that there is a time and place for everything and you are working towards it.

Please don’t think I do not get my moments of panic – I do – but they do not last for long. That’s why I love the diagram we use in Drivenwoman that explains our life circle in four stages. We will always visit the confusion and fear stage but how long we stay there will depend on our trust and understanding of why we are there. If we are ready to work on our weaknesses rather than create alibis to cover them, we move out of fear and confusion pretty quickly.

Where I am now I want to be fully aware – and grateful of – as I believe everything that I have experienced so far has lead me to this point.

And rather than covering my weaknesses with excuses, I want to work on them, because I know it’s the time.

I realise now that paying  attention to detail is one of my major down falls. I’ve always been quick to  dismiss situations which need a little more focus or dedication and happily  passed it on to the next person. Recently I seem to have gathered more individuals in my life that are so meticulous and on point with proven success that I think it is time for me to take note. Especially if I want to move forward.

This is what I call trusting the timing of your life, staying present. And accepting the work that has to be done next.

We can choose to control our minds and think positive or negative thoughts. Whenever we think a positive thought we will feel good and life becomes full of energy. When you trust in life and stop resisting then you will notice opportunities around you. This is what has happened to me recently. I stopped resisting the things I need to learn.

I don’t want to sound like a guru (god..) but I do trust life as I need to be in this positive state of mind to function. How else can you? Feeling fear and doubting everything that comes in front of you? No.

Negative thinking is simply a habit. It’s true that the mind becomes inclined towards fearful thinking because it’s inherently a “survival”machine. But everyday we have the choice to align ourselves with the fear part of the mind or the positive part. When you are not aware it’s easy normal to get pulled in by the negativity.

Trusting the timing of life and your ability to fulfil your own potential means you can look through the maze with excitement and positivity, and your eyes wide open not scared of the outcome.

I’ve finally learned to allow myself to trust my timing and understand that when I stop resisting I cause a continuos movement to a far better quality of life. One little step at a time, always improving. And I deserve it.

~ Jennifer

 

Why Entrepreneurial Dreams Fail – And How To Be Better Prepared

Posted on November 16, 2014

get prepared for entrepreneurship

Women are increasingly taking life and career into their own hands and starting businesses or going freelance. In the US, women are starting businesses twice as fast as men. But only less than 2% of women owned businesses make it above the crucial $1 million mark. And even more often those dreams of doing more meaningful work, being your own boss and earning for yourself are parked because women arrive to the gates of entrepreneurship totally unprepared.

When you are frustrated with your current job, starting your own business may sound like the only way out, but decisions made in haste rarely end successfully. In my view, women would be much more successful if they’d allow more time for the ‘brewing’ period before starting on their own. And spend it effectively, learning and gathering resources, rather than thinking they can get into it once they resign.

Transition from a ‘career mindset’ into an ‘entrepreneur mindset’ takes time. The reason so many women find it too hard to start is they arrive to the bottom of the entrepreneurial mountain completely unprepared. And I’m not talking about the practicalities about starting a business. Registering a trademark or raising capital are usually the smallest of your worries at that point.

You may think about it this way. Would you climb a mountain if you were not prepared? Would you start a long trek up the hill if you didn’t know why you are climbing, and what you are looking for? Do you even know it’s the right mountain? Do you have all the right tools in your backpack?

One of the DrivenWoman members told me last week how she got frustrated with her job and resigned to stay at home for a little while in order to start her own business. After a year she realised she wasn’t ready. She didn’t know what business she wanted to start and she was not prepared. Instead, she made a very wise decision, she went back to work in a similar field she had resigned from earlier. She’s enjoying the work now because she has given it a different meaning. Her mindset has changed, she knows she will start her own business at some point in the future, when she’s ready. The current job is her core expertise so she can do it with relative ease. That leaves time and energy to explore future opportunities and learn skills she will need when she wants to take off. And most importantly the bills get paid.

There are so many areas women are ignoring when approaching entrepreneurship. What people don’t realise is that it often takes many years to be ‘ready’ to build something successful. It takes couple of iterations, many failures and dead-end streets before you can go full speed.

We should all be constantly thinking what we have in our backpacks. Are we packing something useful and  getting prepared for the climb long before we arrive to the bottom of the mountain. We need to study maps, we have to pack for changing weather, we need tools so we can be prepared for difficult situations. There should be enough water and food so we don’t have to turn back just because we run out of resources. And most importantly we need to build our mindset to be able to conquer the mountain.

Start packing your backpack today for a future adventure. The adventure may be many years into the future, but if you arrive unprepared you are likely to try once, fail miserably and never attempt it again.

It has taken me 5 years to get prepared! Many iterations, lots of mistakes and learning, piles of books and meters of webpages later, I know now I’m ready, ready to climb any mountain.

~ Miisa

DrivenWoman Entrepreneurial Workshop ‘Should I Go Solo‘ on 26th of November 6:30 pm, is not about starting a company. It’s about a ‘what if’ scenario, if one day you want to go on an adventure. Are you prepared?

 

 

 

Stepping Outside Of My Comfort Zone As A Young Female Entrepreneur

Posted on November 9, 2014

charlotte leuw cropped

A year and a half ago I embarked on my entrepreneurial journey without even realising. I had a terrible experience getting my car fixed at a large chain of garages and got “ripped off” by a mechanic who preyed on my lack of car knowledge. After I found out that I had been scammed, I decided to start my own blog to teach myself about cars and also anyone else who loved to drive but wasn’t a “Petrol Head.” I wanted to give my readers the confidence and knowledge to know how to maintain their cars and how much they should be spending on their cars.

To cut a long story short, my blog then became a website and now it is a revenue generating business. I have been working on my business full time for a year and over this year there have been many times that I have had to step outside of my comfort zone. Not only being a female entrepreneur, but a young female entrepreneur with very little business experience.

Do something you are scared of:

I know it sounds easier said than done but if you want to step out of your comfort zone you can’t think about it too much. You just have to do the things you are scared of and instead of thinking about how scared you are, think about how great you will feel once you have successfully done what you are scared of doing.

For instance, I really dislike public speaking, especially when I have to do a talk without any notes. I get so worried that I am going to forget everything I want to say, will I end up rambling and boring people. Will they be judging me on what I am saying or if I make a mistake? Over the past year I have had to step out of my comfort zone and pitch my business on multiple occasions to big audiences, as I have been trying to raise investment. Not only do I have to pitch my business with no notes, I have to pitch a female orientated business that is part of a male dominated industry to a room full of predominantly middle aged male investors.

Make yourself comfortable with the situation:

The first step was to learn my 5 minute pitch completely off by heart so that I wouldn’t be worried about forgetting what I am supposed to say. The second step was to rehearse my pitch and practice saying it without looking like I knew it off by heart. The worst thing is to sound too rehearsed. The last step was to make myself appear much bigger and confident than I actually am.

I am a very young looking 25 year old (I have been mistaken for 18 a number of times) I am also quite short so I don’t have an overpowering presence. I spent days practicing in front of my family projecting my voice, making eye contact with them whilst I was speaking and I went out to buy a professional looking outfit.

When it came to do my most recent pitch which was pretty much Dragons Den but in real life, I was still petrified. I went up onto the stage and I was shaking and I probably spoke too quickly. However, I got through the pitch and I said everything that I wanted to say. I thought that I could have done better but I was so happy when I was given a lot of very positive feedback after the event.

I was really proud of myself for stepping out of my comfort zone and I was so glad that I did it.

Top tips for stepping out of your comfort zone:

  1. Say ‘yes’ when you get asked to do something that is outside of your comfort zone, it is much easier to say ‘no’ but when you say yes it forces you to do something you wouldn’t usually do. Trust me you will feel great when you have done it!
  1. Be confident in yourself, you can do anything you set your mind to.
  1. Don’t be scared of failure, the fact that you have said ‘yes’ to doing something that is outside of your comfort zone already means that you have been successful.

I’d love to hear your experiences on developing more confidence and stepping outside of your comfort zone. Have a nice week!

~ Charlotte

This is a quest post from Charlotte Leuw -  DrivenWoman member and founder of MyCarGossip, website that helps female drivers to find the most reliable motoring service. 

How To Live

Posted on November 2, 2014

how to live

My plan is to live 100 years. I’ve been saying that for a while now. It first started half-jokingly but I’m getting more serious about my goal now and have started to think what implications my manifesto brings to my everyday life. How should I live now to reach such age happy and healthy?

I believe it’s good to state your intentions publicly as it makes you more committed to your goals and you kind of have to take your own plans more seriously.  I know I can’t possibly decide my destiny and many life events are totally beyond my control. So weather I get to live to even near 100 is ultimately not going to be my choice. But I like the ambition and the spirit my statement captures.

But saying such things out loud has had very positive implications. I’ve started thinking what could I actually do, what kind of habits should I create to live to 100. And slowly, my thoughts are transforming into actions.

I came across an article on Guardian yesterday how photographer David Bailey captured the faces of nine centenarians. This inspired me to write down a couple of observations how my manifesto is being transformed into daily thoughts and actions.

Stay young

My aim is to stay young. No, I’m not even slightly interested in Renee Zellweger -type of plastic surgery or over dosing on botox. As Yves Saint-Laurent said, “The most beautiful makeup of a woman is passion. But cosmetics are easier to buy.”

And here’s a quote from Jerry Hall: “The real elixir of youth is happiness”.

jerry hall

The body will age, no matter what, but I can always stay young in my mind if I choose to. To stay youthful is to live passionately and remain curious, interested and excited about life. I intend to keep learning and fearlessly trying new things.

Brush away old thought patterns

I’ve always enjoyed reading fashion magazines but didn’t have the time. Now that I’m building a fashion jewellery business spending time leafing through ‘Look‘ or ‘Grazia‘ is not only great fun but also part of the business. I catch myself looking at the latest trends on young women and think ‘Could I wear that?‘ But then I do nothing about it and give myself an excuse not to even investigate the matter further simply thinking ‘It probably wouldn’t work anyway‘.

If I’m to live to 100 I better start changing that thought pattern! If I catch myself being held back by a limiting thought I’m going to analyse it and change it. I believe most of these limiting inside thoughts aren’t even ours. They are planted into our subconscious mind by society and people around us.

And why should I be afraid? I don’t really have to change my whole wardrobe completely. It’s about trying things out and not take myself too seriously. So, I’m simply going to head down to Top Shop and have some fun.

Love my body

Looking at my toes made me smile this morning during my morning yoga. This sounds so Hollywood, but I can guarantee you that my Down Facing Dog is more like an old cow! I’m stiff as a log. But I don’t mind. My morning ritual of stretching is not about perfection. I try to do at least a little bit (minimum 10 minutes, ideally 20 minutes) as I firmly believe that doing something for my body is better than doing nothing.

When I feel like skipping the exercise I remember my new goal, to live to a 100. That brings me right back to reality. I need to love and take care of my body if I’m expecting it to carry me for another 56 years!

Big goals, however realistic or unrealistic, can be very powerful if you are able to translate them into new ideas and thoughts to occupy your mind. It’s surprising how they will slowly transform into action and new habits that can soon change everyday reality.

~ Miisa

Commitment And The Importance Of Doing The Work

Posted on October 26, 2014

work personal improvement tools

We recently asked DrivenWoman members to give feedback on their progress and experience. Jackie, a member since the beginning (May 2013), replied: “I’m so motivated, DrivenWoman has put me in a completely different mind-set. I come because I see change.

It’s of course lovely to hear good feedback and see people moving towards their goals. The personal success stories of our members is what give us the satisfaction, and the reason we keep putting in the effort. Now, after running the networking groups for 1 ½ years, we’ve made an important observation. The reason our members see change may partly be contributed to our ‘method’, but their success is really down to the discipline and work they are doing to improve themselves. And their openness to listen others and look for answers.

In a recent ‘Wealthy Woman Workshop’ it was interesting to observe the difference between DrivenWoman members and the non-members. Women not familiar with our philosophy and structure came to the Workshop expecting answers. We offered questions instead. Questions are much more valuable than answers, everyone has to create their own answers.

No one can tell me how I should live my life.

It’s for all of us to figure out our own way. Despite this most of us keep waiting for the luck to change or to suddenly discover the secret to success.

There’s a lot of self-help, personal improvement and success advice out there. Anyone can give you a piece of paper with ten key points on how to be successful. You can attend a seminar and get all excited and inspired about how someone else became successful (and this is very useful, of course) or you could take an online course and hope to discover the secret. But nothing out there is going to be the magic pill. There’s no single tool or method that would give the answers. The only way to find them is to commit to the work itself.

Jackie was a reluctant participant at the start. She’d be late for the meetings or sometimes skip them altogether. Once she realised she could use these sessions as a tool to manifest her commitment to her goals she started to see real change.

People feel better blaming the method, the tools and the overall life’s circumstances. ‘My everyday life is so busy! The tools are wrong and don’t work for me! I picked a lousy course/seminar/book/blog.’

It’s easier to feel disappointed than to say ‘I’m going to stick to this and find my own answers!

And that’s what DrivenWoman offers, a structure to work on your own answers, month after month. This method suits many, but there are also other good structures out there.

It doesn’t matter what tools you use – it’s a good idea to look for help from other people, read books or take part in seminars – as long as there’s commitment to the work itself.

The responsibility for finding success is with the seeker. And how could any method or course offer the answers anyway, we all have a different definition of success! The sooner we choose our method and get to work, the sooner the answers will come.

What structures have you used to help you to stick to your goals? Do you have a story that would help other women who are looking for answers? Please comment.

~ Miisa

Worry Is An Opposite Force To Productivity

Posted on October 19, 2014

future is uncertain1

Do you find yourself worrying about things you could have done better? Or the many tasks you should be doing next week? We women tend to take a lot more to carry on our shoulders than we need to and that often creates unnecessary anxiety.

I used to get anxious about all sorts of things. Preparing receipts for the company VAT return used to be on the top of the list. Today, for the first time ever, I finished the huge pile of admin without a drop of sweat. For the first time I didn’t scream to innocent bystanders (my family), and my heart beat didn’t rise above its usual levels. Also because I wasn’t anxious, I finished the job in a record time.

Anxiety takes up a lot of mental capacity and therefore reduces productivity. 

Anxiety can be related to depression and it’s very important to deal with the underlying issues and not just have a quick fix for the problems. The purpose of this article is not to dig deep into mental health issues but it’s good to understand that worrying is linked to general mental health and as a subject is quite complex. It’s influenced by factors such as genetics, diet, exercise, relationships, isolation, education, wealth and equality.

But even if you don’t suffer from real mental problems, most of us are prone to unnecessary every day worry that can drain our energy and stop us from working on things that really matter to us.

1) Worrying about the uncomfortable

Me doing my VAT receipts totally falls into this bracket! I worry about it because I don’t like it. Why I don’t like it is because I have to concentrate on boring details for a long period of time. Everyone has their own area of comfort and discomfort and we tend to stay safely in our comfort zone.

This is bad news for growth. Unfortunately learning and true commitment only happens outside of the comfort zone.

You may think that doing VAT receipts can’t be such a big deal, but for me it has been. Possibly the worst thing I can think of and the main source of anxiety. I used to get antsy already a day before. I’d postpone it. I’d dwell on it. I’d kick and scream when I finally had to do it! I know it’s a bit silly really and I’m happy that I have finally fixed it.

So what changed? I simply started accepting the work I had to do. Instead of trying to fight it, I went in and said: “This is just a job that needs doing. Accept it. And until I’ve done this I’m not allowed to start anything else (more comfortable).

2) Worrying about the past – All the mistakes I made!

People also tend to worry about things in the past, things they could have done better.  Let me tell you, there are a million things I could have done better.

However, I always think every person tries to do the best they can with the resources available to them at a time. Therefore even if you think afterwards you could have done better, you really couldn’t have, or otherwise you would have. (Do you follow me?) This is why I don’t ever beat myself up for things I could have done different, because I know that if I had more knowledge or energy at the time of the event, then I really would have done it better. But because I didn’t, I didn’t! (Huh, that was a long one…)

A second helpful realisation is that, well, I don’t know anyone who could return to the past to fix things. So why worry?

Mistakes are an important part of the process of making yourself better at what do or learn to do. A child falls down hundreds of times before she learns to walk and no-one thinks any less of her for that. We should have the same attitude towards new experiences as adults, but instead we expect everything to go perfectly the first time, this is totally unrealistic.

We also tend to think that other people have a lot of time and interest to analyse our mistakes. Well, generally they don’t. And if you know someone who does you shouldn’t be spending too much time with them anyway, as they don’t sound very positive influence.

To deal with mistakes and past performance the best advice is not to beat yourself up.

Give yourself a break. And if you want to get a better result next time, it’s a good idea to seek someone’s feedback during the process. Ah, then comes a worry of exposing yourself unfinished. It can be scary, but it sure is effective. Share a draft, an idea, a prototype or a concept with someone and ask for a feedback. It’s possible to eliminate many mistakes and save time from redoing work.

3) Worrying about future – All the things that could go wrong!

It seems that some people think they can anticipate or solve problems by worrying about them in advance. Or that they’ll become more prepared to life’s difficult moments if they worry.

It’s sometimes difficult to trust the uncertainty the future brings, but all you do by worrying about it is ruin your present moment!

In my opinion the only way to be prepared to any future event is to build your experience and a thicker skin.

And to build experience you have to do the very thing you worry about, try things out and make mistakes. If you worry about a speech you have to give to a big audience, rather than worry about it and try to anticipate what could happen, you could trial public speaking with a smaller audience and actually experience the mistakes you might make.

This type of worry originates from a similar source to the first point, comfort zone. It’s easier to sit still and worry, than to step out and fix things.

But worry is the opposite force to action and prevents us acting on our dreams. It’s a real Time Robber!

There are a lot of different advice for tackling worry, from sitting in a worry chair (really..) to drinking lots of water (honestly..).

The only two things that have helped me to deal with worry are:

1) I’ve become more aware of the present and 2) I try to deal with only one worry, a problem or a task at a time.

“If a problem is fixable, if a situation is such that you can do something about it, then there is no need to worry. If it’s not fixable, then there is no help in worrying. There is no benefit in worrying whatsoever.” 
― Dalai Lama XIV

What do you worry about? Have you noticed it reduces your productivity? Do you think it slows you down? What are your tips about dealing with it? Please comment.

Have a great, worry free week!

~ Miisa