Are You Worth The Shoes You Want?

Posted on September 21, 2014

shoes and self-worth

Four times a year we get together with our DrivenWoman members for a social night out, an evening to have fun, drink a little wine and take time off from our drivenness, just to enjoy life. Last Thursday we spend an evening getting to know the studio and story behind a contemporary shoe brand FINSK in Fitzrovia, Central London. The shoes are really gorgeous and funky. Designer Julia Lundsten takes her inspiration from art and architecture, and translates it into her shoe designs.

One girl fell in love with a pair of purple heels that looked absolutely stunning on her. The other wanted to walk out with a pair of hot, black ankle boots and another was ready to take on the world in a pair of pony fur pumps.

Every single woman in that showroom had a lot of fun trying on those beautiful shoes. We fell in love, we prayed (for more money) and we laughed – all for shoes. The shoes made us look sexy, confident and that we were going places! Ah, who wouldn’t want that.

There was just one obstacle standing between us and a pair of those amazing shoes. Our own image of self-worth. 

“Do I deserve these shoes?” was the question that begged for an answer.

Ok, FINSK shoes are not inexpensive. One pair sets you back around £400 to £600, but for that you get an amazing pair of shoes that can transform your day, perhaps your life.

The price tag offers a good rationale though. “I can’t possibly spend this much money on myself when there’s bills to pay and necessary things to do.”

Or can I? How necessary really are all of those so-called necessary things? Did they become necessity out of a convention? It’s much easier to say you spend money on others than on yourself as you don’t have to justify it. But how necessary would a little dose of self-love be? Why do women leave their own needs so often the last?

I wrote in an earlier post how a purchase of a pair of pink shoes was a manifestation of a new direction in my life. With a pair of outrageously sexy pair of shoes I literally put my foot down. From that day on I was in charge of my life, and I deserved it. I’d bought the shoes, despite knowing that my at-the-time husband wouldn’t approve. The decision to stop asking for an approval changed my life.

And there I was, in a room full of women as gorgeous as the shoes they were trying on, asking for an approval to love themselves.

I decided to imagine another room, a room full of baby girls. And if I’d tell you that every single baby in that room will deserve to buy any pair of beautiful designer shoes when they grow up you would believe me because we’re all born equally lovable and equally worthy. Then life happens and instills a nagging self-doubt that perhaps not me, but the others, deserve those shoes.

Women’s magazines are full of successful women sharing the secrets of their wardrobe and usually the shoe collection is the real point of envy. I’m just leafing through the latest Elle magazine where Sandra Choi (Jimmy Shoo’s Creative Director) reveals she’s got 614 pairs of shoes! Does she think she hasn’t deserved them? I don’t think so.

I’m not after that many pairs of shoes, and the number doesn’t even matter. Everyone has a different relationship to material things. I don’t suggest a shopping spree or reckless spending on designer shoes either. Self-worth isn’t measured in the number of shoes you own. Money can’t buy us love, they say, and neither can shoes.

But I do suggest that if you at some point come across a pair of beautiful shoes that look fantastic on you and give you an instant boost of confidence (oh yes, shoes can do that!) there’s nothings in this universe that should suggest you haven’t deserved them!

We all have deserved to enjoy life and to have fun, and occasionally invest into a little bit of extravaganza on ourselves.

Have a great week and please share in the comments if you come across any fun ways to express self-love!

~ Miisa

Growing Greys, And The Incredible Lesson On The Power Of Mindset

Posted on September 14, 2014

jennifer greys

I have a personal dilemma I’d like to share with you, and it’s a little bit embarrassing. Or is it? For a while now I have wanted to cut my hair and stop dying the roots and allow my greys to come through. Oh yes, o-h y-e-s. “What!?” I can hear you saying… “Are you crazy? Lost your mind? “…… “ It’s going to look dreadful, a-g-e-i-n-g!”

Yep. Maybe you are right. But maybe you are not the impulsive Jennifer Stoute… as she’s done it anyway. “Help me!” I scream now with top of my lungs. My flowing locks are gone and in their place is a short bob, the beginning of a salt and pepper look. (Grin.) This sounds really unattractive as I am writing it. There goes my glamour side!

First, let me explain why I have come to this extreme decision. Dying my hair has actually become such a pain for me. I am allergic to every dye you can think of. The only dye I can use is one that makes me feel like I’m wearing a straight jacket. I can’t get caught in the rain or it will drip down my face, I dare not lean against anything or it will rub off and leave evidence of my presence. So I guess to me my reasons are all valid. So I have taken the plunge and here I am. Terrified.

Now, the decision itself was fine and I was very happy with it, but what followed afterwards I did not expect .

The shock on my friends faces. My daughters were equally horrified. “What have you done mummy!” 30 minutes earlier I was a confident chick leaving the salon happy with my new look. Now I was full of panic, my heart was racing and I spend the next 5 hours paralysed by my decision. Every moment I would swing by the mirror trying to convince myself I had made the right decision. The girls were starting school the next day. Uniforms and bags had to be fixed, but I just couldn’t get my act together.

I remember saying, “Come on Jennifer get a grip. It’s fine, just handle it.” Yet I couldn’t.

I was numb with fright. Had I carried out the greatest crime on myself? I was up until 2am following morning looking through websites with women with grey hair and the do’s and don’ts. It was utter madness.

All of a sudden I became so self conscious it swept me off my feet and ricocheted me into a very vulnerable place. I found myself explaining my actions, and watching everyones eye contact. Were they looking me in the eyes, or.. ah, were they actually staring me at the top of my head? Alarm bells were ringing. “Oh, its the greys! What are they thinking…?”

I was checking out the male audience to see if I was still candy in their eyes (yes, that is laughable I admit.) All of those self conscious traits reared their ugly head and that was shocking for me as I thought I had conquered those demons many years ago. I thought I was free. I thought I could be myself and not care. Huh, it was not true.

My panic got me thinking about the past experiences. I started relating back to my running days and the time I spent filming Gladiators, and even to the break up with the girls father. How did I cope? How did I overcome injury to become a Gladiator on a TV hit show? How did I recover from the break up and managed to keep working with my ex, now running a successful company. What was it?

What got me through those moments of doubt? The answer was simple and it was staring me in the eye. It was my MINDSET.

That’s all it was. My attitude to the problem rather than the problem itself. I chose the length of time I allowed it to keep me down. It was me who decided how much negativity I was going to give to the problem. And that decision would determine how long I would stay in the land of confusion.

We all make choices everyday. Some will be the right ones and some may not. How we choose to live with our decisions is totally in our power. Our curiosities have to be fed (and for me its the grey hair for now.) We have to experience many journeys. The good thing about life is that you can always change your path if your choices don’t turn out the way you wanted.

And my mindset from now on…? It’s to feed my curiosity no matter what the outcome. If one day I wake up and think “what the hell was I thinking!”, I can always go back to the dripping hair dye.

I know I will have the odd mad hair day (ha ha) but thats fine. I will learn to rock it to my best ability.

~ Jennifer

Ps. This post was surprisingly painful to write. Thank you for reading and please comment. I have attached a link to a great article that offers simple advice if you need to improve your mindset. This will help you to keep positive mindset everyday.

Questions And Answers

Posted on September 7, 2014
questions

Photo by Robert S. Donovan (imcreator)

What do you think offers more value: a good question or a good answer? So many people just want to find out the ‘truth’, the correct answer. I know I lived trying to follow the life rules for many years. Even this blog is often about ‘advice’ on various topics.

For a long time I thought there was a single truth, an answer I should discover. The way my life should go. The way to write my CV correctly. The correct kind of jobs I should apply for. The right way to build my career. The right age to have kids.

But chasing the right answers made me miserable!

Now all I have is questions. How can I have it all? How can I spend time with my family and build a business I care for? How can I help others and do meaningful work? How can I work hard and avoid stress? How can I be happy?

Wouldn’t it be great if there indeed was someone who could answer all that for you!

Questions make us feel uncomfortable. We’d like a quick fix. We’d love someone to tell us what to do next. Finding our own answers is time consuming and it takes a lot of work. Why go through a ton of mistakes if you could just jump start your success! Would be great to get that magic pill, wouldn’t it!

It’s good to take advice from people more experienced than you, but you still have to make your own conclusions, and more importantly make your own decisions. This includes taking full responsibility for your choices.

I can listen to others but I can’t blame them for any of the consequences.

Living with questions can be overwhelming. It feels so much easier to grab an answer or a story you can believe in. It’s easier to follow someone and copy them, than to stand up and say, hey, I’m going to find my own answers.

Let’s take diet for instance. After having kids my body changed and I knew I had to find a new diet. I thought there was one correct diet I should follow. What I didn’t realise was that my body kept changing and I need constantly adjust what I eat. It’s the same with fashion, I can’t get stuck in something that looked great on me in my 30′s! And I look at my relationship and realise that as a couple we change all the time and so we have to do different things to keep things happy.

The answers keep changing, but the questions remain the same.

And on a good day I have lots of answers. And then the next day the answers have changed again, so I’ve stopped looking for permanent answers. Instead, I want to find better questions. I want to get comfortable not knowing what the future will bring. I’m finding security in the questions because I now know I can keep answering them in different ways all over again, and as the answers keep changing the questions become even more important.

So is it bad to look for answers and ask advice? Should we all just go figure out our stuff on our own? Definitely not. For me the only way to find my own answers is to keep reading what other people have to say, listen to their experiences. I take the time to discover and learn, and then I make my own conclusions. I don’t take any advice at face value. I’m the one who has to live with the consequences. There is nobody on this planet that could tell me exactly how I should live and what I should do next. Not the smartest or the richest or the happiest person could do that for me!

My question to you is, could we, as women, become happier if we’d start appreciating questions more? Could we flourish if we’d stop insisting on one correct answer and would take the time and effort to look for our own answers?

Please share your thoughts in the comments. A dialogue with others will help us all to find better answers.

~ Miisa

September reading: Ultimate Happiness Prescription

Posted on September 3, 2014

Ultimate Happiness Prescription

The Ultimate Happiness prescription by the wonderful Deepak Chopra is an insightful and inspiring read and one that I highly recommend.  He talks about one of the leading theories of happiness, what causes suffering and the seven keys to enlightenment and contentment.

H = S + C + V

Happiness = Set Point + Conditions of living + Voluntary Activities

Researchers have found that 40% of happiness depends on your ‘Set Point’ which refers to your genes and your upbringing (Nature and Nurture).  Children’s brains have neurons that mirror the brains of adults around them, so if a child is surrounded by unhappy adults, the nervous system will be programmed for unhappiness even before he has any cause for unhappiness himself.

The good news is that neither your brain nor your genes are fixed structures, they are constantly changing and evolving.  Research has shown that the brains set point can be changed through:

  • Drugs (not ideal as it’s a short term with potential side effects)
  • Cognitive Behavioural Therapy
  • Meditation

Living conditions only account for 7% to 12% of happiness.

Almost 50% of the happiness formula depends on Voluntary Activities which are the things we choose to do every day.   According to researchers, making other people happy proves to be a fast track to happiness and its effect is long lasting.  Turning to creative expression to make yourself happy can also generate positive results that last a lifetime.

According to the Vedic and Buddhist traditions of ancient India, 5 main causes were linked to suffering and the unhappiness it causes:

  1. Not knowing your true identity
  2. Clinging to the idea of permanence in a world that is inherently impermanent
  3. Fear of change
  4. Identifying with the socially induced hallucination called the ego
  5. Fear of death

Fortunately, it isn’t necessary to wrestle with five causes of suffering.  They are all contained in the first:  ignorance of your own identity.  Once you experience who you really are, all suffering will come to an end.

He then talks about the 7 keys to enlightenment

  1. Be aware of your body
  2. Find true self esteem
  3. Detoxify your life
  4. Give up being right
  5. Focus on the present
  6. See the world in yourself
  7. Live for enlightenment

The key message of the book to me is that some of us are lucky to come from a great nature and nurture set point but if you don’t, it doesn’t mean you cannot change it.  Living conditions are only a small contributor to happiness and what really matters is how you choose to live your life, turning to your creative expression and how important it is to not get mindlessly wrapped up in the delusion of the ego!

~ Avril McDonald

…………..

Avril McDonald specialises in transforming meaningful ideas into reality and aspires to having a positive sustainable impact on our world. She’s the founder of Feel Brave Ltd, a company that creates beautiful characters and stories to help kids manage tough emotions and feel brave – because we all have to be a little brave sometimes.

- Have you read a book you found useful, and would like to recommend to the DrivenWoman community? Please send us a short review to miisa@drivenwoman.co.uk.

You can find the full DrivenWoman book list here.

Every Year Was Not Created Equal (And How I Finally Found My Natural Rhythm)

Posted on August 31, 2014

rhythm

Have you ever tried a trendy diet and soon found out the regime did nothing for you? Or have you wondered why one moment you are an eager gym bunny and the next you feel guilty as the gym membership goes to waste month after month? It’s often too tempting to apply a blanket strategy to your life and actually fail to listen to the most important participant – you. We’d like to think there’s a one-size-fits-all solution to all our worries (ie. a magic pill) and believe that as long as we stick to the recipe, we’ll be ok.

A year ago I was getting up at 5.30 am every morning. I’d bounce up from my bed and go for a run. And then I’d work for 2 hours before my kids got up. Ah, I’d even make breakfast for the family before they woke. I was bursting with energy. What an annoying person I was! I thought this would last forever. I thought this was the new me.

Now my morning goes more like this… I have my eyes open (I’ve checked the time) at 5.49 am. A thought of getting up and putting my running shoes on crosses my mind, very briefly. I visit the day’s work load before happily falling back to sleep. The next thing I know it’s 8.15 am! Huh. I simply don’t seem to be able to get out of bed before 8 am anymore. Even my husband is wondering what happened, I used to be such an (annoyingly) early riser. Why am I not charging up in the morning like a hungry lion?

Have I lost my mojo?

Perhaps not. Perhaps I’ve actually found it!

A year ago I would have most likely beaten myself up (mentally) for being such a lazy sod. “You gotta show some discipline, woman!” I would have shouted myself in my head. “How do you think you’ll get anywhere (in life) if you are not squeezing it all in?” And so I did. One year ago my life was filled up, back-to-back.

But did I actually get more done? Or was I pushing my boat too hard?

I think so.

I went into an overdrive. I became obsessed with getting up and doing my run. Getting some work in. Doing all that driven woman stuff.

Don’t get me wrong. I believe it’s great to go for a run in the morning. I just don’t feel like doing it at 5 am, right now.

I’m no more lazy than I was a year ago. I work very hard, often burning the midnight oil (which partly explains my lack of enthusiasm for getting up at 5 or 6 am). The difference is that I’m more focused. I’m more connected to what I’m doing and feeling right now, rather than just doing what should be done. And I think I actually get much more done now, than a year ago.

I understand now that my natural rhythm changes all the time. A year ago I needed to show myself (and others?) that little extra push. I wanted to push my boat a little harder to get to here where I’m today. To learn. Now I’m happy to be still and to observe.

The most important thing is that I don’t beat myself up for not doing something that was necessary to do a year ago. I could easily get stuck in that old pattern and think that I have to be the same person I was a year ago. Instead, I accept new things as my natural rhythm changes and make most of it.

What have I learned about finding my rhythm? Here are a couple of discoveries:

It’s good to over do it

Only by exploring our limits we find our natural middle. This includes stopping and being too hyped. Working too hard and getting a panic attack. Or stopping and taking a deep breath. The ripple effect can start large but over time it gets better, and you will find your balance.

Stop applying blanket strategies

There is no ‘perfect diet’ that every human being should follow. There’s no ‘perfect rhythm’ or ‘perfect relationship’ or ‘perfect what-ever’ either. Stop chasing fads, or following what your friends or glossy magazines say, and start stopping and listening to your own body and soul. You have all the answers that are right for you, right now.

Look at life in its entirety

It’s easy to get obsessed about one day, one week or a year. You can never find balance (or it’s difficult) in short periods of time, but when you extend the time span, you can see that there is a good life-balance, you start to see your real patterns. The number of sun spots (in the sun) increase every 11 years. What’s your pattern?

Life is a paradox. I’m learning that as much I have to appreciate the time I have, I can’t be obsessed about it. I can’t spend my time wastefully, but l shouldn’t stress over it either. When it’s time to return to a more pressurised morning schedule, I’ll do it naturally. I miss the 5 am morning energy, but until it returns to me without calling, I shall enjoy my morning sleep.

What is your pattern? Please comment and share your thoughts on finding a balance.

Have a great week, a one that comes naturally to you.

~ Miisa

 

What Money Means To Me

Posted on August 24, 2014

paradise wonderful 2

Last week’s post about money and our usefulness to others sparked a lot of conversation and comments on the blog. It inspired me to think what money means to me and why do I push myself to achieve more in life. Is life about purpose or bucks?

First, full disclosure. I come from a perfectly average middle class family. We always had enough but we were never ‘rich’, not even ‘wealthy’. I held well paying corporate jobs, and considered myself ‘an independent’ woman until having kids. Recent years I have let husband pay the bills. It was tough at first, but I got used to it pretty quickly. I could never be ‘a lady of leisure’ though, and making my own money is very important to me.

I’ve always been very good in negotiating my salary and standing up to myself getting the same pay as my male counterparts in the job market. In the past couple of years I’ve been building my own businesses and the logic for earning is quite different. You can stand up to yourself all you like but if you are not making the right decisions and learning the right skills, the bank account may remain in a miserable state.

There are of course other benefits to building your own company. You get to do something you feel passionate about. Some people may argue that following your passion should be enough and the only measure to justify your choices. But why can’t I settle there?

Am I searching for monetary or spiritual riches? Both, is my answer.

I’d like to live in abundance. In abundance of love, of ideas, of beauty, of intellect. I’d like to surround myself with high quality people and products. I’d like to be able to choose exactly how I want to live, where I want to go and what I want to do. I think having some extra cash might be a good idea in that scenario!

I don’t believe one has to choose either ‘passion’ and ‘purpose’ OR financial success. Do we have to pride ourselves of choosing ‘purpose’ over money? Does it make us more noble? Possibly yes, but I’ve set myself on a journey to discover if I can have both.

So why do I work hard? Why do I keep pushing myself? Why is it important for me to make some serious money?

I want to know what I’m capable of. I’m interested to know what I can do and what I can learn in life. Where can I get to? I’m interested to see where my passion takes me. I’m curious of my own capabilities. Money both measures and fuels my growth.

I want to make an impact. I want to be useful to the universe. I want to feel a sense of achievement. I want to help people. I want to make my work matter. I can multiply my usefulness if I have access to finance.

I want to earn my own money. I’m ‘married well‘, so well that I could in theory become a lady who lunch. In theory. I would not be who I am, if I did. (And that’s not the woman he married anyway.) Nothing is more rewarding than working hard, getting the reward and feeling good about yourself. Money is just a side product.

I want to learn. Money is a great test for me to see what I’ve learned. If I’m crap at everything I’m unlikely to make any money, right? I want to improve myself in all areas from interpersonal skills to selling on social media, and beyond. If I’m able to make better decisions for my projects and my company, money will be a natural measure of my success to improve myself. Would you agree?

I want to get to a new level. If my finances improve, I will be able to hire more and better people. I will be able to outsource skills I don’t want to, or don’t have time to, learn. I can basically use money as a catalyst for faster growth, both personally and for my company.

I want to make a greater impact. Philanthropy has never featured greatly in my life. Sure, I support the Kids Company and Battersea Dogs Home with a small donation every month and I pay for two girls‘ education in Nepal, but I’d love to do much more! I’d love to do more for women’s empowerment. I know the day will come, but first I need to build up some serious resources.

I want to get to know new people. I’m interested in getting access. I’d like to know more people who have been through an interesting and successful entrepreneurial journey. I want to have Sophia Amoruso and Sara Blakely at my dinner table, and feel completely comfortable about it!

You can pursue your purpose and turn your back on wealth, and there’s nothing wrong with that. The most important thing is to make an educated and aware decision. The other extreme is to chaise riches and never find your purpose or happiness. But I believe that there’s a third way, one in the middle – to pursue things you believe in, things that make you thrive and bring out the best in you. And make money along the way.

Life is not about just settling for the cards you have been dealt, accepting your ‘fate’ or your current state of affairs.

It’s not about being either rich or poor. We all start somewhere, some at the front some at the back, but we can all move forward. Life’s about believing you can always improve your hand, little by little. And life’s about learning to make better decisions for ourselves, for our purpose, and for our finances.

What is your view? What does money mean to you?

Please leave your comments below.

~ Miisa

DrivenWoman ‘Wealthy Woman Workshop‘ is on 4th of September. Join an inspiring evening where you can learn what steps you can take now to start improving your future wealth.

Are You Useful To The Universe

Posted on August 17, 2014

women welders

DrivenWoman talks about money this month. The theme inspired me to share a thought that has stayed with me since reading Napoleon Hill‘s book ‘Think And Grow Rich‘.  He explains the secret of creating wealth as how useful you are to the universe: “Determine exactly what you intend to give in return for the money you desire. There is no such reality as ‘something for nothing’.

For me this totally makes sense. Money is not something evil or something you must desire as such, it’s simply a measure of your personal usefulness to the universe. If I create something that is going to help many people, they will be happy to depart some of their money in exchange of my services. ‘Helping’ can come in many shapes, it might be about creating products that make people happier, more beautiful or save them time; or it could be services like DrivenWoman that helps them to become more confident in what they are about.

And most importantly, the idea of money as a measure of individual’s usefulness helps to create a more neutral and healthy relationship with money.

But let’s look at work that is extremely useful to others but doesn’t yield a lot of money to the doer. Nursing or taking care of others has historically been typical women’s work. The problem is scalability. Taking care of one person at a time is very valuable, but it doesn’t warrant a big pay check. Same goes for all jobs where value is created one client at a time. The work can be extremely valuable, but unless it’s scalable, the private car with a driver will be a distant dream.

However, if you were a nurse and became the best in your field, nothing can stop you from starting an on-line tutorial service, writing a best selling book or creating other scalable material to expand your reach, and thus help more people. The more people you are able to help, the more universe is willing to reward you with money. Internet offers a great opportunity for anyone with specific expertise to scale their idea and make more money.

It’s easy to say, I know, ‘I don’t have any ideas, other people do’.

Well, I didn’t have any ideas either 5 years or 15 years ago. What made a difference was a decision to go look for ideas. A decision to start improving myself.

It’s important to appreciate the two resources we all have in our disposal: our time and our money. To change your financial future you should be putting aside one or both of these resources.

Just imagine if you consistently put aside 10% of your time to learn new skills or to slowly grow a small side business, after a year or two you will be able to either get clients that pay more, a pay rise at your job or a side income from a small business that will able you to leave a job you may no longer feel so passionate about. According to Hill’s concept, universe’s reward will await because you have become more useful to people around you.

If putting time aside is not realistic, then 10% of income could be put aside into an investment. Translating the idea of ‘usefulness’ into investing means saving and investing into businesses that are useful to as many people as possible.

Often women are too modest to claim the full payment for their own usefulness.

Yes, we are useful and we may even be producing something hugely scalable, but because we either think we haven’t deserved the money or that being useful is big enough reward for us, we don’t claim the money that is rightfully ours. We pass by the whole money issue like it didn’t exist. The truth is that the universe is most likely rewarding our usefulness generously, but it’s going straight to some guy’s pocket if we don’t stand up to ourselves.

Jennifer wrote earlier about women’s attitudes and the modest view we take on money. ‘I just want to pay the bills. I’m happy with that.

Could a concept of ‘being useful‘ change our ambitions about money?

I definitely want to say: ‘I’m going to be as useful to the universe as I possibly can! And from now on, I’m also going to allow the universe to bring me the money!’

What do you think? What kind of ideas have you had recently about being useful? What do you think is stopping women being more accustomed to money? Please comment below.

Have a great, wealth conscious week.

~ Miisa

You can find Napoleon Hill’s ‘Think And Grow Rich’ book review in the DrivenWoman reading list.

DrivenWoman ‘Wealthy Woman Workshop‘ is on 4th of September. Join an inspiring evening that may change your perception of personal wealth.

Money Is Just An Idea

Posted on August 10, 2014

We are writing about women and money in August. This week we have a guest post from a true money professional - Terhi Majasalmi, an experienced entrepreneur, professional investor and Women’s Wealth Coach. 

terhi majasalmi 2

Did you know that reaching a healthy financial situation has much more to do with your mental health and mindset than some complicated investment techniques? The ideas you have had up to this point in your life have generated the money you have right now in your pocket.

If you want to change your life and your financial position for the better, you have to get better ideas. To make your financial future more abundant, you should produce lots of new, better ideas.

Our thoughts and beliefs have an impact on what we do or what we think we are capable of doing.

So if we hold a belief that we can’t ever be in a good financial position and live a wealthy life, we don’t even try to do things that will lead to an improved financial situation. For example we don’t save, we buy things we don’t need and we are reckless with our money.

The unconscious mind works for us in good and in bad. So even if you think saving money is a smart thing to do, but you don’t fully believe that the habit really benefits you, you are not going to do it. Everything we do involves 80% psychology and only 20% strategy!

The key is to get stronger mental health. We should develop a stronger belief system and get rid off the bad, hindering patterns in our mind.

The better your mental health is, the more you produce ideas to make your financial future flourish. The quality comes from the amount of ideas. The more ideas you generate, the better ideas you get.

My favourite practise is to write 20 answers to a specific question, for example: “How can I get 5000 thousand euros in my account by 31.12.2014?”

At first it can feel hard to come up with so many answers, but you just have to keep hammering! The reward can be huge. The twentieth answer could be the breakthrough. Usually I take one week and write every morning twenty answers to that one same question. It’s a total of 100 hundred ideas!

Why not give it a go this week. How much money would you like to have on your bank account? And remember, money is just an idea.

Great week to all,

Terhi

I hope to see you all in Wealthy Woman Workshop on the 4th of September.  After the workshop I promise that you’ll have many new, great ideas to make your financial future flourish!

 

 

Let’s Talk About Money

Posted on August 3, 2014
deanoakley

Photo credit: imcreator.com / deanoakley

I can’t get my head around why we women are too afraid to say “I want to be wealthy, rich and financially free. I want to be able to go shopping or travelling, and be free to start projects I love without having a panic attack about my bank balance.

Why are so many women reluctant to talk openly about the role money plays in their lives? Do we think in some strange way our position as a mother, woman, and wife will be tainted if we utter the word MONEY, MONEY, MONEY? Is it true that men and women have a different relationship with money, or is it just a myth that society has given and we have chosen to hide behind it?

Or maybe we just don’t say it because we don’t like the responsibility we must take to obtain it?

I want to shout out loud: “I want that beautiful house, a closet full of gorgeous clothes and stunning shoes, a great family holiday – I want the lot!

How does that sound? Am I any less than I was yesterday?

I bet you Alan across the road is not feeling guilty for buying his Aston Martin.

That does make me smile.

I am sure that many of us think that rich people are all greedy, and that most of them had probably sold their souls to the devil in order to attain lots of cash.

That’s a load of horse manure, by the way. Whatever the point of view, not understanding the purpose of money will simply restrict our own growth.

For so many years I used to think that the idea of ‘wanting more money‘ seemed unrealistic, so I softened my words and just said I need enough money to be comfortable and that would be ok. Ha! And guess what?  I got just that, and then spent the next month feeling anxious before the next pay check arrived.

I’ve now realised money creates freedom, freedom to do what I want. It frees up my creative juices to start projects where I can achieve and feel useful to the society. It’s tough to hire a baby sitter to free up my time if I don’t have any cash!

I feel we, girls, need to embrace the truth about life and honour all of our desires, and money clearly is one of them.

Here are a few ideas that I’ve found useful when befriending with money.

1) Take an inventory of your life. Look at the areas you would like to improve. You may not like it but you need to take control of the financial situation in order to make things happen. And don’t rely on your spouse on this aspect!

2) Set your goals and create a plan of action. This will give you a focus and an understanding how to go forward.

3) Educate yourself about money. Read small parts of the financial pages about investments that may be of interest to you, properties ect. It may seem strange at first having a small insight on how money grows but it strengthens your awareness.

4) Find a couple of mentors, individuals you have watched grow and create their wealth. Or if such individuals are hard to find in person, you can read memoirs or follow successful bloggers.

5) Create a mission statement.  Write it down and read it out loud once or twice day. You have to believe in what you are about in order to create a financial flow.

Also check out the book recommendations from the DrivenWoman reading list.

Having financial freedom gives you the ability to maintain a comfortable lifestyle while saving for the future and staying out of debt. Achieving it requires careful planning. The reward is stability and peace of mind, and the ability to take a break and have fun when you want and eventually enjoy a comfortable retirement. 

Please share your experiences with money in the comments.

~ Jennifer

In August DrivenWoman will talking about money. Join our Wealthy Woman Workshop on 4th of September in London or stay tuned to this blog for more money & good life -insights.

 

 

15 Books Every Driven Woman Should Read

Posted on July 27, 2014

DrivenWoman reading list

What does a driven woman read during her well deserved holidays? We have compiled a comprehensive list of books for useful, inspiring and fun (useful can also be fun!) summer reading.

The books range from recent books written by some driven women; such as Sophie Amoruso’s #GIRLBOSS, through books on entrepreneurship and success, to love and healthy eating. DrivenWoman is about covering all areas of better life. Everyone defines their own kind of success!

The list is here.

Please add books you think might be useful to your fellow driven women and share your thoughts on the books we’ve read.

Happy summer reading!

~ Miisa